Friday, January 18, 2013

You've ...Got Text ...

We live in such a high tech world that some people feel we are losing touch with each other.
I have found it to be the opposite for me. I am able to connect with my family and friends that are scattered across the world as if we are all neighbors.
I could even sit and have a cup of coffee with my sister in Kansas and my sister in New Hampshire on Skype.
I can see my nieces and nephews grow, fall in love and even have their own babies. I also see what all my brothers have going on in their lives and share it with my friends.
So to me, I enjoy this type of communication. I hear their voices in my heart as I read what they've posted.
It was the only way I could stay connected to the world while my husband was in the hospital. After he passed, I could no longer talk on the phone. It was way too difficult to try and hide the sadness in my voice, or find words to express the shattered being that I had become.
So, I took to writing my feelings instead. I learned to hate the phone, I couldn't bear to hear the disappointment any one had in me.
I lost my job last January, so, slowly I became a hermit living in the woods of Maine.
I love the beauty and the serenity of this wooded 2 acre lot that I rent. Here, I was able to finally lick my wounds and heal.
I have been on a journey of trying to find myself again. I've been lost for so long.
Slowly, I am finding myself again and remembering that I like me.
I love the different seasons here in this spot in the woods. Watching the trees come alive in the spring and the way the leaves paint my surroundings with such breath taking colors, and when it snows, the beauty in the way it clings to the trees leaves you in awe.
The glitch in this perfect little picture...not working and having run out of unemployment earnings.
So, when it snows a lot and it is wet and heavy, I am left snowbound. I just can't shovel that much snow.
That is when I used my connection to the outside world and posted for help on my Facebook page. My darling nephew was going to pay to have someone come plow the 1/2 mile driveway. A friend from West Virginia called her friend up here. As a favor to her, he was on his way over to rescue me, the snowbound maiden, when his plow broke down.
That's when the story starts to turn. He (Jim) sent me a text to let me know that it will be another day just be patient he'll get me plowed out.
My landlady felt bad so she hired someone for the season.
Since that day, Jim and I have started texting. He is kind with a wonderful sense of humor and has made me start wanting. Wanting human contact again. Wanting human contact with ... Him.
Now comes the rushes of nervousness, shyness and self doubt that have slowly taken over my mind since the year of sadness.
Being a gentle gentleman, he hasn't asked me my age or body stats. I'm short and round and a few years older but I'm getting healthy again. In fact. Another 2 pounds off this week. yay!!!
I am really enjoying our texts and hoping that since he likes the beauty inside of me.
I am a great present for someone underneath the wrapping paper, you just have to be patient when opening.
For now we continue to text... But, I see snow in my future, guess I will have to ask Jim if he would be kind enough to plow my driveway.

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