Wednesday, December 26, 2012

And the tears fall

The house is quiet and still. The only sound I hear is the gentle snoring of my beautiful guardians, Lily and Watson.
They don't like it when I cry and are usually all over me trying to make me stop. Tonight though, they are worn out from running in the snow and having left over turkey.

I thought of listening to some music, but, today, all the songs are just making me miss you more. I try to close my eyes to sleep but, I just play your memory over and over. Usually, thinking of you makes me smile, but, not tonight. No, tonight, my heart is hurting so badly for you!

I wonder how my heart still beats when I am so broken and empty inside. I want to heal and be whole again but how can I when you were always what completed me.

I relive the days over and over in my head trying so hard to change the outcome. I try to think of changing something so that I will wake from this nightmare and find you beside me.

What happened to the girl you loved so much? The one who's laugh filled a room and eyes twinkled as she teased others?
I feel unwanted and so very lost. I think that if I work, I may find myself again, but, I can't even find a job that wants me.

You were always an angel to me. I am confused to why you had to leave me to become an angel to all. I am selfish and want you back!

Who is going to hold me and tell me that I am beautiful even if I gained weight or cut my hair? Who is going to make me laugh when I burn the supper or trip up the stairs? Who is going to sing Beatle songs with me? Who is going to laugh so hard with me that we fall down exhausted!

And as the tears fall, who will be able to kiss them away!

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