Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Sometimes, you just need kindness!
I know, I know, You missed me right?? What? You didn't notice I was away? Oh, it was because you were catching up on all my blog pages. WOW!! Thank you! Have you ever had one of those days when everything was just a bit off? Maybe, the alarm went off too early or too late, you didn't wash the outfit that you really wanted to wear, or you burned the toast and spilled your coffee. And that is all before leaving your house! When you leave your house, you're running late and a slow driver gets in front of you, no time to stop for coffee now!! And you pray that you make it to work on the gas fumes you are using. Okay, just slow down a second and take a deep breath! Hold it, hold it, okay, exhale slowly. Now look around. If it is raining, look at the drops on your windows and imagine that you are in a soda and with each bubble, it washes away one of those "last" nerves...you know the ones...the ones that sound like threats, "you hit my last nerve" "how dare you" "get out of my way"...etc. Look at the beauty around you. breathe! If the sun is shining, enjoy it! Don't complain that it's in your eyes. Enjoy the beauty that it brings. Oh yeah, and breathe! We all have our own "stories", our own battles we are trying to conquer. Some of the hurdles seem to be nearly impossible to get over, but, trust me, you can do it! Have faith! You may not believe in God, but, you need to find something POSITIVE to believe in! Life is way too short for you to go through it with a chip on your shoulder. Am I saying that you can't have a bad day? Not really, I am saying that YOU can change your bad day into a good day. Try to find something that makes you feel better. The sound of a child laughing, a couple in love, a flock of birds sitting on the phone line. Show some one some kindness, pay the toll for the car behind you, pay for someone's coffee as you stop to get yours, give the cashier money towards the next person's groceries, or if you are struggling for money like me, hold the door open for someone, make eye contact and smile at them. Honestly, I promise, it'll turn both your days around! As for me, I try to be kind to everyone I meet. That is what my husband loved so much about me. He always told me that I had the biggest heart of anyone he knew. I believe everyone deserves a hug, I have hugged people that others wouldn't go near. My thought is what if that was the only contact they have had with anyone in so long. Oh, I have also hugged people that ended up giving me the creeps, but, I walked away afterward and I was a better person for it. I lost "me" for a while, but, I am slowly finding myself again. It has been a very long and difficult road that I have been traveling. I have lost many along the way of this journey. Friends and family that I thought I would have with me until the end of time, while some have passed away, others have left to go down their own paths. I try not to be bitter about losing everything, and most days I am not. I used to hate the saying "life is good"After the year of sadness, I began to feel that it was being rubbed in our faces. life is good? For whom? When I run into someone who is mean and hateful, I ask God, Why? Why leave this miserable person here when my husband, was a great loving man and didn't make others hurt was taken? Or the countless innocent children? Then I realize, maybe it was because they are getting a chance to be a better person before they die. Or when my daughter and I drive by our old house and see someone else sitting on our porch, it stings. So that is when I stop and take a breath myself. Yes, the tears can be streaming down my face and more than anything I want to kiss my husband again, but, I count my blessings. I am so thankful for the love my parents had for each other and for all of their children. I am thankful that I have the four best brothers in the world and the two best sisters anyone would dream to have. I am thankful that when I gave my son up for adoption that he was truly loved by his parents as much as I loved him. I am thankful for God loving me enough that he gave me my daughter Leah. Without her, my life would be unbearable! I know what true love feels like. I know what it is like to have everything and then have nothing. Through it all, I have clung to hope, hope that my husband will come for me someday, hope that my daughter will become a famous author, hope that someday, I will see my grandchildren again. And hope that someone that feels they are alone in their pain will have someone else do something for them that will give them back their faith and also give them hope.