And Sometimes..,

There are times in every ones life when it feels as if the sun has left you and that you fell into an endless pit of despair and sorrow.

And sometimes... there is a light at the end of the tunnel ( no its not hell fire ). Trust in it!! You need to keep running towards it.

And sometimes... You just haven't the strength any longer to even stand! Crawl, crawl towards the light. Just get there!

And sometimes... Along this path you will lose footing and friends and family. If they can't help you, crawl over them. You can make it.

And sometimes... It can take years to get there. Time is not important. Your well being is!

And sometimes... Out of the blue comes someone. Someone very special, who is kind and gentle and understanding.

And sometimes... They become friends and confidantes. You start to feel safe and happy.

And sometimes... You can barely wait to see them. To feel their arms around you. To see the warmth of their smile.

And sometimes... It can happen to you when you least expect it.

And sometimes... Is happening to me!!!

You've ...Got Text ...

We live in such a high tech world that some people feel we are losing touch with each other.
I have found it to be the opposite for me. I am able to connect with my family and friends that are scattered across the world as if we are all neighbors.
I could even sit and have a cup of coffee with my sister in Kansas and my sister in New Hampshire on Skype.
I can see my nieces and nephews grow, fall in love and even have their own babies. I also see what all my brothers have going on in their lives and share it with my friends.
So to me, I enjoy this type of communication. I hear their voices in my heart as I read what they've posted.
It was the only way I could stay connected to the world while my husband was in the hospital. After he passed, I could no longer talk on the phone. It was way too difficult to try and hide the sadness in my voice, or find words to express the shattered being that I had become.
So, I took to writing my feelings instead. I learned to hate the phone, I couldn't bear to hear the disappointment any one had in me.
I lost my job last January, so, slowly I became a hermit living in the woods of Maine.
I love the beauty and the serenity of this wooded 2 acre lot that I rent. Here, I was able to finally lick my wounds and heal.
I have been on a journey of trying to find myself again. I've been lost for so long.
Slowly, I am finding myself again and remembering that I like me.
I love the different seasons here in this spot in the woods. Watching the trees come alive in the spring and the way the leaves paint my surroundings with such breath taking colors, and when it snows, the beauty in the way it clings to the trees leaves you in awe.
The glitch in this perfect little picture...not working and having run out of unemployment earnings.
So, when it snows a lot and it is wet and heavy, I am left snowbound. I just can't shovel that much snow.
That is when I used my connection to the outside world and posted for help on my Facebook page. My darling nephew was going to pay to have someone come plow the 1/2 mile driveway. A friend from West Virginia called her friend up here. As a favor to her, he was on his way over to rescue me, the snowbound maiden, when his plow broke down.
That's when the story starts to turn. He (Jim) sent me a text to let me know that it will be another day just be patient he'll get me plowed out.
My landlady felt bad so she hired someone for the season.
Since that day, Jim and I have started texting. He is kind with a wonderful sense of humor and has made me start wanting. Wanting human contact again. Wanting human contact with ... Him.
Now comes the rushes of nervousness, shyness and self doubt that have slowly taken over my mind since the year of sadness.
Being a gentle gentleman, he hasn't asked me my age or body stats. I'm short and round and a few years older but I'm getting healthy again. In fact. Another 2 pounds off this week. yay!!!
I am really enjoying our texts and hoping that since he likes the beauty inside of me.
I am a great present for someone underneath the wrapping paper, you just have to be patient when opening.
For now we continue to text... But, I see snow in my future, guess I will have to ask Jim if he would be kind enough to plow my driveway.

I can move Mountains!

Never underestimate the inner strength you have!
Today is a good day, today I moved mountains! Okay, it was mountains of snow and I used a shovel, but I did it!
That's right, ME!
If I could move this mountain, just think what YOU can do!
There are many mountains that we face in our life time. Some mountains small and unthreatening, so all you need to do us hop right over it and be on your merry way.
Then, there are mountains that are so big and frightening, that you have to find a path around it. I have one of those very foreboding mountains smack dab in the center of my path! This mountain is connected to many many smaller ones.
I have a mountain of grief. Grief, can halt you and force you to lose ground on your path. It may be one of the most difficult mountains to maneuver. This is one you have to conquer on your own.
There is no time limit as to when you must make it over, it is different for everyone. I am sure that you will find others that will set you back. There are also others that God will thankfully send you, to help pick you back up and set you on your feet.
There are other mountains that you may face; quitting smoking, shyness, and weight gain, to name a few. There are tools to help you make it over these mountains.
I was faced with a big weight gain when during another mountain climb in my life. This caused many small mountains to pop up. Lack of self esteem, feelings of hopelessness, abandonment... The list goes on.
With the help of Nutrisystem, I am making my way over this mountain. There is no stress involved. There are foods that will satisfy anyone and lead you on a more healthy path.
The mountains of hopelessness and self esteem begin looking like hills and are much easier climb.
I ask that you join me on my mountain climb and we can help each other. Sometimes, you might stumble, but, I will help you stand back up and together with Nutrisystem, we will knock this mountain down!!

Here are some mountain climbing tools that will get you started and support you throughout this journey!


1. Nutrisystem Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Nutrisystem

2. @Nutrisystem Twitter: http://twitter.com/Nutrisystem

3. Nutrisystem You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/Nutrisystem

4. Nutrisystem Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/nutrisysteminc/

5. Nutrisystem Google+: https://plus.google.com/b/107083288279617410657/107083288279617410657/posts


Disclosure: I am recieving free Nutrisystem products and services (yay!!) in exchange for my participation and honest review of the program!

And the tears fall

The house is quiet and still. The only sound I hear is the gentle snoring of my beautiful guardians, Lily and Watson.
They don't like it when I cry and are usually all over me trying to make me stop. Tonight though, they are worn out from running in the snow and having left over turkey.

I thought of listening to some music, but, today, all the songs are just making me miss you more. I try to close my eyes to sleep but, I just play your memory over and over. Usually, thinking of you makes me smile, but, not tonight. No, tonight, my heart is hurting so badly for you!

I wonder how my heart still beats when I am so broken and empty inside. I want to heal and be whole again but how can I when you were always what completed me.

I relive the days over and over in my head trying so hard to change the outcome. I try to think of changing something so that I will wake from this nightmare and find you beside me.

What happened to the girl you loved so much? The one who's laugh filled a room and eyes twinkled as she teased others?
I feel unwanted and so very lost. I think that if I work, I may find myself again, but, I can't even find a job that wants me.

You were always an angel to me. I am confused to why you had to leave me to become an angel to all. I am selfish and want you back!

Who is going to hold me and tell me that I am beautiful even if I gained weight or cut my hair? Who is going to make me laugh when I burn the supper or trip up the stairs? Who is going to sing Beatle songs with me? Who is going to laugh so hard with me that we fall down exhausted!

And as the tears fall, who will be able to kiss them away!

Love Yourself

I recently read an article about diet trends for 2013. I was pretty shocked that Nutrisystem was not listed, so I posted a comment to the website. I really was quite upset that Nutrisystem wasn't listed since that seems to be what works for me.
Not only am I losing weight steadily, I am also breathing easier and have gotten more energy.
So, I am giving a shout out to Nutrisystem! I have not always been overweight, due to PTSD, I just didn't seem to notice how unhealthy I became. Nutrisystem is a very healthy and effective way to lose weight safely and to keep it off. I find the support to be solid and the staff is always there to answer any questions or to help you through any tough spots.
You can follow Nutrisystem through so many sites that there is never any trouble getting the support that you need!


1. Nutrisystem Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Nutrisystem

2. @Nutrisystem Twitter: http://twitter.com/Nutrisystem

3. Nutrisystem You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/Nutrisystem

4. Nutrisystem Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/nutrisysteminc/

5. Nutrisystem Google+: https://plus.google.com/b/107083288279617410657/107083288279617410657/posts


In our fast paced life, where we opt to eat at fast food restaurants to grab a quick bite to fill a hunger, isn't the best choice for a healthy meal and often leaves you hungry again very quickly and also craving more.
With Nutrisystem, not only have I found the meals very tasty, they are also very filling. They are even bars that you can grab for a quick breakfast or lunch on the go, or even as a snack if you are out and about and need a quick something to keep your energy up.
I know there are a lot of fad diet trends out there that promise a quick weight loss. But, why sacrifice your health, do yourself a favor and just try Nutrisystem for a month... Your body will thank you!
My journey to a healthier life style is Thanks to NUTRISYSTEM. I invite you to come along with me for mutual support. If you would also like to join NutriSystem, either click any where you see their name and it will link you right to their site!
Please visit Nutrisystem at www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog or you can also call them @ 1-888-853-4689 and join the Nutrisystem family too!!
Disclosure: I am receiving free Nutrisystem products and services (yay!!) in exchange for my participation and honest review of the program!I

Hugs For the Holidays

We are in the blessings of the holidays. The time when your hearts should be so full of love and joy and yet there are so many of us who hurt more during this time. There are so so many lonely and heart broken people around the world who can't be with their loved ones, a mom missing her babies and husband( or wife) as she is away in the service protecting us. Or the military man who has just left home for the first time and in his parents eyes, he is still just their baby and yet he is also fighting others to keep us safe.
So many out of work, and unable to purchase gifts for anyone. Barely enough to even put on a special dinner. These people so need our kindness and our prayers.
This year, like so many of them it seems, my heart is aching along with so many others. I pray for everyone that have lonely heartaches, but, especially this time of year. It seems so much colder and so much lonelier when you are missing someone.
It breaks my heart to see or hear people arguing out in the stores. If only they understood how desperately so many of us would wish they had their parents, children or spouses near. We would hug them so tightly, there surely wouldn't be any arguing.

Even with a heart full of sorrow, I can still find wonderment in the tree lights and music floating in the air. The excitement on the little one's faces as they get a glimpse of Santa in the store.

To me, this is a time of hope! My heart still is filled with kindness and love when seeing the Salvation Army ringing their bells and hoping for just a bit of change and a kind greeting instead of rushing past trying not to make eye contact with them.

I reflect on the gifts that God blessed me with. The (sometimes unspoken) love of family and friends. The times that were happy and special that warm my heart on cold lonely nights.
I am blessed with 6 siblings and all of their families that even distance can't change the love that we feel for each other.

This time of year seems to bring smiles quicker and hopefully forgiveness. If you are angry at someone, release it. Give it to God! He will help you. ( For those of you who don't believe, please know that I HAVE to believe! I HAVE to believe in Heaven or my mind would snap. I HAVE to believe that my husband, parents etc are having Christmas in Heaven. Surrounded by the little ones that left us too early. I see them singing songs and laughing and dancing around the most beautiful tree ever. That they are even luckier that they are able to sit not on Santa's lap, but, to sit on the lap of Jesus as He laughs and sings with them. I HAVE to know that they are all wishing nothing but happiness for us.

I wish for all of you a very special and loving holiday that is filled with many gifts that you feel more than see! I wish you warmth in the cold. Giggles and gentle touches. Winks and hand holding. Smiles and deep belly laughter that truly comes from the heart. I pray you find forgiveness in your hearts and a dance in your step.

I send all of you my hugs and love! Have a great week. Be kind to yourself! But, especially be kind to others. Hold a door, let the car in front of you turn, smile and give someone a touch on the back.

I also have a very special holiday wish to my friends in Nutrisytem, without you, I would have never made it this far! Please visit them at www.nutrisystem.com and give yourself or someone you love the gift of a healthier life.
Nutrisytem had sponsored me and this holiday, I am happy to be 23 pounds lighter!!! It is so easy to do and the food is scrumptious!

Hugs for The Holidays

We are in the blessings of the holidays. The time when your hearts should be so full of love and joy and yet there are so many of us who hurt more during this time. There are so so many lonely and heart broken people around the world who can't be with their loved ones, a mom missing her babies and husband( or wife) as she is away in the service protecting us. Or the military man who has just left home for the first time and in his parents eyes, he is still just their baby and yet he is also fighting others to keep us safe.
So many out of work, and unable to purchase gifts for anyone. Barely enough to even put on a special dinner.  These people so need our kindness and our prayers.
This year, like so many of them it seems, my heart is aching along with so many others.  I pray for everyone that have lonely heartaches, but, especially this time of year. It seems so much colder and so much lonelier when you are missing someone.
It breaks my heart to see or hear people arguing out in the stores. If only they understood how desperately so many of us would wish they had their parents, children or spouses near. We would hug them so tightly, there surely wouldn't be any arguing.

Even with a heart full of sorrow, I can still find wonderment in the tree lights and music floating in the air.  The excitement on the little one's faces as they get a glimpse of Santa in the store.

To me, this is a time of hope! My heart still is filled with kindness and love when seeing the Salvation Army ringing their bells and hoping for just a bit of change and a kind greeting instead of rushing past trying not to make eye contact with them.
 
I reflect on the gifts that God blessed me with.  The (sometimes unspoken) love of family and friends. The times that were happy and special that warm my heart on cold lonely nights.
I am blessed with 6 siblings and all of their families that even distance can't change the love that we feel for each  other.

This time of year seems to bring smiles quicker and hopefully forgiveness. If you are angry at someone, release it. Give it to God! He will help you.  ( For those of you who don't believe, please know that I HAVE to believe! I HAVE to believe in Heaven or my mind would snap. I HAVE to believe that my husband, parents etc are having Christmas in Heaven. Surrounded by the little ones that left us too early. I see them singing songs and laughing and dancing around the most beautiful tree ever. That they are even luckier that they are able to sit not on Santa's lap, but, to sit on the lap of Jesus as He laughs and sings with them. I HAVE to know that they are all wishing nothing but happiness for us.
 
I wish for all of you a very special and loving holiday that is filled with many gifts that you feel more than see! I wish you warmth in the cold. Giggles and gentle touches. Winks and hand holding. Smiles and deep belly laughter that truly comes from the heart. I pray you find forgiveness in your hearts and  a dance in your step.
 
I send all of you my hugs and love! Have a great week. Be kind to yourself! But, especially be kind to others. Hold a door, let the car in front of you turn, smile and give someone a touch on the back.

I also have a very special holiday wish to my friends in Nutrisytem, without you, I would have never made it this far! Please visit them at www.nutrisystem.com and give yourself or someone you love the gift of a healthier life.
Nutrisytem had sponsored me and this holiday, I am happy to be 23 pounds lighter!!! It is so easy to do and the food is scrumptious!